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Michael Bay’s Victoria’s Secret Commercial Defies All Laws of Subtlety

Guys! He did it! Michael Bay’s new Victoria Secret commercial aired last week during the fashion show, and it’s the most explosive 90 seconds of television in recent memory — a sure win in the director’s war against all things subtle. This isn’t Bay’s first commercial (you can thank him for those Got Milk ads, for one), nor is it his first go around with Vicky’s. It is, however, probably the most concise take on his inner thoughts we have seen yet.

But we have to ask: is this a good Victoria’s Secret commercial?

Sunsets and nu metal, it’s probably safe to say that nay a teenage boy will be able to deny his desire for a new bra after watching this commercial. Employing his patented use of cuts (a judicious 80, or so), Bay manages to fit just about everything into one package: girls on bikes, girls on pool tables, girls on regular tables, girls on ladders to nowhere, girls in front of helicopters, girls in front of explosions, girls crying diamonds and, of course, girls throwing knives.

And really, who needs narrative when you can have everything else! This is a truly unique brand of sexy. Because, of course, nothing yells “sexy!” like a desert knife fight.

While this commercial may be more likely to sell underwear than, say, Bob Dylan, it’s not really about the product. This one is about fantasies and indulgence, scantily clad girls and explosions. This one is about Michael Bay. Sorry ladies, this one’s not for you.

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