The Grammy Nominations Have Been Announced and… Oh God, Why Do We Put Ourselves Through This Every Year?

This year’s Grammy nominations are in, and as ever, they’re a fascinating snapshot of America’s most innovative and exciting musical acts… lol no j/k they’re the same old shit as ever. Welcome to the place where the idea of Justin Bieber having made one of the five best albums of the year (maybe THE best!) can be spoken of with a straight face, where Chance the Rapper can be nominated for “Best New Artist,” where Twenty One Pilots’ “Stressed Out” can be a contender for “Record of the Year” (which is different to “Album of the Year” and “Song of the Year,” apparently.)

In fairness, there are some nods to progressivism in this year’s nominations — Beyoncé leads the pack with nine nominations, which is notable because she is a) not white and b) not a man. All three artists trailing her by a single nomination for second place — Kanye West, Drake and Rihanna — also fulfill at least one of those criteria. (So, indeed, does Adele, in third place with five nominations — it takes until the late David Bowie, with four nominations, to get to a white man, and you will never, ever find us complaining about any honors handed out to the wonderful Blackstar.)

There’s a couple of obligatory “Weird Artist Who’ll Never Win But Hey, At Least They’re Nominated” picks: Tycho is nominated for Best Electronic Album, and Parquet Courts are up for something called “Best Recording Package.” And, of course, there are also the usual “Country Artist That You’ve Never Heard Of But They’ve Somehow Sold About Eleventy Gazillion Records” nominees: Sturgill Simpson (for Album of the Year!), along with Kelsea Ballerini and Maren Morris (for Best New Artist).

Anyway, the Grammys will be handed out on February 12 next year, in a ceremony replete with awful overblown performances, awkward enforced collaborations, and Beyoncé winning everything. But hey, it might all be worth it to see Mike Posner’s “I Took A Pill In Ibiza” win Song of the Year, right?