The Internet is Taking Joy in Pregnant Beyoncé Because Everything Else Sucks

Beyoncé Knowles-Carter is expecting twins, news which she announced via an Instagram post that could be described at this point as extremely Beyoncé in tone and nature. I can’t quite say what’s going on in the below image, but one thing I can assure you is that it is a photo of a pregnant Beyoncé.




A ripple of joy and excitement passed o’er the land at the very moment Yoncé’s post arrived, partly because every new project Queen Bey announces, be it an album or a human or two humans, produces such a reaction — and partly because if the entire country is indeed sinking into a fetid morass of evil, the most likely people to save us are a pair of Carter-Knowles twins, the Luke and Leia of the future. As a twin myself, I can assure you that we womb-sharers are all touched by the hand of destiny*.

Maybe she can hire a large percentage of her fanbase as her personal baby nurses after Trump designates us as Undesirable Dissidents and prevents us from obtaining lawful employment. Twins are very, very demanding, you know, Mrs. Carter (just ask my mom!), and a few million pairs of helping hands can help with all that burping and diaper-changing!

Jay-Z is also expecting twins.

*this is an alternative fact (TM).