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On Second Thought: 5 Hollywood Remakes We’d Support

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Alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Or it may never have been at all. The “it,” of course, refers to Lars von Trier’s rumored remake of Taxi Driver, which had the media abuzz for nearly a spin around the sun. Often, the very mention of the word “remake” with a beloved title leads to a feisty chorus of “ohs” and “whys,” from The Seven Samurai to the more recent Let the Right One In. But with von Trier’s brilliant but checkered past (hit-miss-hit) and Martin Scorsese’s notorious “hero,” there was definitely promise for a must-see redo.

In that what-if spirit, here’s a list of other American classics and the directors we think could make them their own. Leave your own scenarios in the comments.

The Wild Bunch: Michael Mann

Just think of all the actors who could line up in this Sam Peckinpah update. Let’s just use his last, oh, five movies to fill in the blanks: Russell Crowe, Tom Cruise, Will Smith, Colin Farrell, Johnny Depp, Christian Bale. Plus, Mann remains a superlative handler of gunfights and boxed-in men (Heat anyone?), and The Wild Bunch remains the best of that sort of fallen machismo.


It’s a Wonderful Life: Judd Apatow

Back in his day, Frank Capra was America’s leading director for feel-good comedies, his aw-shucks heroes toeing, but not quite falling into, the mawkish. Apatow introduced the raunch into the formula of the good-guy misfit and reigns as today’s comedy supremo. For all its cheer, It’s a Wonderful Life retains a particularly dark undercurrent — quitting this life when down-and-out — and Apatow has been mining the uneasy (mid-life virginity, unplanned pregnancy, even cancer) for laughs and pathos his entire career.

The Graduate: Wes Anderson

Mike Nichols’ classic might not have pioneered the use of an artist-scored pop soundtrack, but it’s one of those seminal cases. Many of Wes Anderson’s characters, from Max Fischer to the Tenenbaums, have ties to Dustin Hoffman’s college grad without a compass (whether moral or directional). The swimming pool reveries of The Graduate couldn’t be more primed for the Anderson touch.

3 Women: Paul Thomas Anderson

Altman is a saint for Paul Thomas Anderson, one of those in-the-time-of-need inspirations. But the ensemble roulettes for which Altman was rightly lauded, like Nashville and Short Cuts, are much too close to Anderson’s current M.O. 3 Women would be a welcome departure and a fascinating, small-scale foray into the world of femmes and the surreal after a mostly epic, male-focused oeuvre.

The Searchers: Quentin Tarantino

With his gift for quotable gab, QT refreshing the bonhomie of Howard Hawks’ Rio Bravo would be an excellent choice (it’s one of his favorites after all). But better than that would be the famed cinephile’s take on John Ford’s masterpiece The Searchers. You can see its influence (as well as Leone’s) in the intro sequence for Inglourious Basterds, when Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz) gets all shadowy in the doorway a la John Wayne. And it’ll murk up those cameos in such neo-Westerns as Sukiyaki Western Django and From Dusk to Dawn.

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Comments (12)

U.O. for life — great list

The Searchers would be really cool. The only problem is finding an actor who could play the role of John Wayne! I don’t think there is anyone out there that can!

Can I now look forward to your list of five classic novels you’d like to see written by a modern author? Lolita … by Michel Houellebecq! Moby Dick by … Cormac McCarthy! Rabbit, Run by … Michael Chabon! Ulysses by…William Vollman! The Violent Bear It Away by…Alice Munro! What fun! They’d all be so much better, wouldn’t they?

If that hack Jason Schwartzman is cast as Ben Braddock, I will crap my pants and die angrily.

Chinatown, Dir: Mathieu Kassovitz would be great.

Sweet god, these are all horrible ideas! And I’m glad that they are, as of yet, sworn only to the domain of a blog.

Yah that, Ryan

Why do they have to remake perfect movies by great directors? Leave The Searchers alone QT, there are original stories you can come up with, you’re no John Ford.

wow, hypotheticals get peoples’ panties in quite the proverbial bunch, eh?

Remaking It’s Wonderful Life? The Frank Capra masterpiece that firmly places James Stewart and Donna Reed in cinema immortality, No, no and no!!!

Josh Holloway for Ethan Edwards, and I am in fact John Ford

You are high if you think Michael Mann could do justice to The Wild Bunch. And Tom Cruise? WTF. Quentin Tarantino or Robert Rodriguez directing, that I’d believe. Come to think of it, in a sense, Q.T. has already remade The Wild Bunch.

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