Fans Like Their Twilight 122 Minutes Long, Thank You

What’s even better than Rod Hilton’s “10 times shorter and 100 times more honest” version of Twilight posted over on Cracked? The irate comments that his abridged teen vampire flick script inspired from crazed Stephanie Meyer fans. We can’t decide which we find more entertaining. (Side note: It has been way too long since we talked about this movie. We were in Edward withdrawal.) Find some of our favorite angry tirades — which sound like they written by drunken sailors, not 16-year-old girls — after the jump.

hotmommy87: Ok…The movie wasn’t as great as it could have been but have u even seen a picture of stephenie meyer??? She’s pretty. Not some ugly outcast. and the second thing is all the parts where you went “oh yeah, the script was written in 6 weeks” are all parts that fans would actually understand. He wasn’t asleep jackasses…He was pretending so that he wouldn’t have to leave while she talked to her mom. GRRRRR…….illiterate bastards.

E-Jaz: heyy.,
i would like to say that you people are just jealous that you couldn’t write four books with over three hundred pages each ! STUFF you all ! your criticism is justbullshit broo.,
get over the fact “twilight” is taking better than anything that your life could depend on ahahahah
(=

321liftoff: I don’t get why it’s so okay to bash female-oriented movies. I don’t agree with Meyer’s mormon b.s. either, but why don’t you guys make a stink about EVERY BOND MOVIE EVER MADE? Both Twilight and Bond movies have the same concept: main character is special, and somehow attracts a amazing specimen of the opposite sex. Sex eventually ensues, usually at the end of the movie/ series of novels. The only difference in bond movies is that sex often ensues with multiple, stunningly smart and beautiful women.

steph_91: This is a waste of time. The person that wrote this short story must absolutely LOVE twilight in order for them to put this kind of s**t on here. I mean they must’ve really watched and read twilight over and over again to TRY and mess it up. LAME Don’t hate on twilight just becuase it’s really popular and famous.

U_R_ALL_LAME: i didn’t know we had so many profound literary critics….umm i remember there was once a movie called “dude where’s my car?” at least “twilight” has a plot. and as for abusive relationship…? feminists who believe they’re gonna lead shrewd, “i’m gonna pee while standing up b/c i can too”, manless lives: it’s probably b/c you have other internal issues going on and you are incapable of love.

good god, people needa sit on a toilet and relax about this movie/book. really now…

p.s. this script really wasn’t that great…someone ho obviously spent too much time and effort reading the book and or watching the movie just to be a jackass.

watever: You know what I think is funny? It’s almost ALWAYS guys who hate this.
wanna know why?
Because they hate the romance part of it. Because they have no love life of their own. And they know they could NEVER be like Edward, so they’re not even going to try.

Girls, guys will ALWAYS be sons of bitches for the rest of eternity.

And people who hate Twilight should burn in hell.

tsfiction819: Not to be f*****g rude or anything, but do you people think that movie making is easy? I know I’m not a pro, but I do have experience. AND TRUST WHEN I SAY IT IS NOT f*****g EASY! Shut your stupid ass mouths and try it out yourselves dumbasses. If you think you can make a better movie and write a better book then go ahead on and do it. And seriously, all of your words of hating Twilight and the series and it’s the #1 movie in America, it made over 70.5 million dollars, AND Stephenie Meyer is like the most popular author ever. Please! You people wouldn’t know great movie or book even if it crawled up your asses and laid eggs. Rob is hot, Kristen can partially act, and Twilight rocks. So go f**k yourselves.