Mattel announced today a new release in the realm of “collectible” Barbies, four miniature versions of AMC stars Don Draper, his wife Betty, Roger Sterling, and Joan Holloway. (Read: dolls for adults who never take them out of the package. What 7-year-old watches Mad Men, anyway?). Retailing for $75 a pop and launching this summer to coincide with the fourth season of Mad Men, the dolls are fairly accurate, costume-wise, but seem to be missing a few key accessories. After the jump, we envision a few extras for Don and crew.
Though Mattel senior vice president Stephanie Cota told the New York Times, “The dolls, we feel, do a great job of embodying the series. Certain things are appropriate and certain things aren’t,” we beg to differ. Mad Men IS drinking, smoking, sexism, and the Golden Age of Advertising. Clothes by Janie Bryant do make the (wo)man, but one of the best things about Mad Men is director Matthew Weiner’s absurdly precise attention to period detail.
Some suggestions for the Mad Men Barbie Party Pack:
— A diaphragm for Peggy
— Don’s secret box
— A shotgun for Betty
— The beatnik girlfriend’s hash stash
— A case of Utz potato chips
— Roger’s blackface paint
— Mechanical John Deere tractor
— A bucket of Heineken
— Ant farm
— Belle Jolie lipstick
— Pack of Lucky Strikes
— Jai Alai straw bat
— Hermès scarf
— Playtex corsets in black (Jackie) and white (Marilyn)
— Flasks for all
Other ideas? Put ‘em in the comments.