Regretsy: Helen Killer’s Favorite Finds

Sometimes we can’t stop staring at horrible, ugly things. Enter Regretsy, a website that puts “the culture of fail” on display for those with the stomach to handle for-sale projects ranging from the hysterical to the horrific. April Winchell launched the site in October 2009 under the pseudonym Helen Killer, and its cult-like following has led to a hilarious book spin-off: Regretsy: Where DIY Meets WTF. To celebrate its release, we’ve asked Killer to provide a list of the most over-the-top moments found in the new tome. Count on being both traumatized and fascinated after the jump.

1. Double Hummingbird Feeder Hat, Roy Road Fish Company

“I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw this. And then I saw the YouTube video of this thing in action, and it was all over. The double hummingbird feeder hat immediately rocketed to my top 5 finds, ever.”

2. Dirty Diaper Cat Toy, Oh Boy Cat Toy

“I asked this woman to create a piece to illustrate a chapter in the book, and she came back with a giant vagina stuffed with 15 pounds of catnip. She’s trying to get it into The Guinness Book of World Records. I think she has a real shot.”

3. Log Purse, Lynn Cyr Art

“If you don’t mind carrying a piece of wood around at social functions, this is a great purse. Oh, you’ll still have to find matching shoes, but as long as you’re Dutch, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

4. Chicken Poncho, Goose on the Loose

“There’s a section in the book where sellers get to speak their minds about being on Regretsy, and how it’s affected them. The woman who made this poncho provided my favorite quote: ‘I haven’t been able to think about it much because my goat is expecting.'”

5. Fairy Toilet, Fairy Furnishings

“It’s easy to find crap on Etsy. But you know you’ve hit pay dirt when you find something to crap in.”

6. Wedding Gown Painting, Blablover5 (Introverted Painting)

“I’ve got to tell you, I would have been impressed by someone who paints your wedding dress on a hanger. But a painting of your clothes being worn by an invisible presence, posing with your dogs on the beach, well, now you’re talking about an heirloom.”

7. F*cking Flies, Dark Vomit

“I’m proud to say I actually bought this painting. I gave it to my best friend for his birthday, who hung it over his toilet with a halogen spot on it. It really classes up the place.”

8. Lady Gaga Embroidered Toilet Paper, Hi Bird

“When I first posted this, I called it ‘Lady Caca.’ The seller was such a good sport that she now refers to them that way in her store. And she’s always coming up with new products. I was so taken by her presidential series that I commissioned her to make embroidered panty liner bookmarks that I give away at signings. Between you and me, I think it’s the real reason people buy the book.”