2

A Look at Dead Magazines That We Never Knew Existed

It was announced in earlier in the week that in a minonline poll of over 1,000 respondents, Domino Magazine was the dead publication that readers missed the most. Spy, Gourmet, Life and Metropolitan Home rounded out the top five. Shocked that Sassy didn’t even crack the top 10, we decided to take a virtual trip to Museum of Dead Magazines to find out who else had been unfairly forgotten. What we discovered: a lot of dead magazines that we never knew existed. Check out our top 10 after the jump.

1. Viva, The International Magazine For Women (1980) – Canada’s answer to Playgirl. We wonder if by “pubic hairstyles” they mean something akin to the ’70s hippie version of vajazzling.

2. Ebony Jr! (1985) – Best. Cover. Ever. Apologies that we couldn’t find a larger version for you to print out and frame.

3. Bikini (2000) – We have a few questions here. Why did you put Clarissa Darling on your cover? What is “Danball”? And do you really think you’re the “World’s Greatest Men’s Magazine!”? We can’t even find you on Wikipedia.

4. Dads Magazine (2001) – We can’t speak for your dad, but ours would never pick up a magazine featuring Val Kilmer in a robe. May we suggest Kevin James.

5. Mary-Kate and Ashley Magazine (2001) – OK, that’s a lie. We knew this existed, we just didn’t realize that it looked so much like The Shining.

6. Offspring (2001) – This is what we imagine the Coneheads would call a parenting magazine.

7. Sly Magazine (2005) – An actor’s midlife crisis masquerading as a health and fitness mag. We’d also like to suggest that when anyone other than Oprah tries to pull the name-your-magazine-after-yourself-and-then-put-yourself-on-the-cover thing, it just doesn’t work.

8. The Official CSI Magazine (2009) – Needs more David Caruso.

9. Backyard Living (2009) – We’ll admit that our primary issue with this one stems from the fact that we don’t have a backyard and won’t have one for the foreseeable future. Good god, they look happy.

10. Hunt Club Digest (2009) – The print equivalent of a poorly-lit room full of scary, mounted heads and the men who love them. Enough said.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 8,474 other followers