In less than two years as a household name, Lady Gaga has done some outrageous things: She’s made weird, beautiful videos. She’s worn a dress made of Kermits. Her drag-like persona has inspired rumors that she’s a man, baby. Recently, she invited a reporter to “come party with Gaga” at a sex club, where she peed through her fishnets. But tonight she’s made perhaps the most inexplicable move of her career. Reader, she went on Larry King Live. What do a 24-year-old poster child for all things new, pop, and camp and a 77-year-old news dinosaur have to talk about? Find out after the jump, where we compile the interview’s many awkward, incongruous, and magical moments.
First things first: Gaga is dressed like a glam-rock Larry King, in sequined suspenders and a tie! More than anything, she resembles Thin White Duke-era Bowie.
Gaga: Should I call you Larry, or shall I call you King Larry?
Larry: At what age did you know you wanted to be a performer?
Gaga: In the womb, Larry. In my mother’s warm womb.
Larry: Do you consider yourself an icon?
Gaga: No, I do not. I hope when I’m dead I’ll be considered an icon.
On the rumors that she has lupus: She doesn’t have any symptoms of it, but she did test borderline positive.
Larry: Do you think about dying?
Gaga: Yes, I do.
Larry: At age 24?
Gaga: I dream about it a lot. I suppose I could lie to you and not tell you the truth. But I do, I think about it.
In a conversation about Deepak Chopra’s advice that Gaga embrace her insanity, use it creatively, and stop fretting about death, Larry says, “Deepak’s on this program a lot, and he never worries about anything.” Then he starts laughing as though someone’s tickling him. Gaga is silent.
Gaga: I’m not interested in being a perfect, placid pop singer that looks perfect in bikinis.
Confirmed: Lady Gaga was invited to open for Michael Jackson on his comeback tour.
Larry: How did you come up with the incredible idea of these costumes? Not just singing and dancing, but of the way you present yourself?
Gaga: … Lots of the new and original pieces are meant to be a rejection of the way people view women. I guess I’m a feminist.
Gaga: The gay community… has been the most enormous blessing in my life.
Larry: You’ve said, Lady Gaga, that you don’t touch cocaine anymore. Was it hard to give it up?
Gaga: No, it wasn’t. By the time I stopped doing it, it was ruining my life. So no, I just threw it away, I guess.
Larry: We have a Tweeter question for Lady Gaga. Tweeted!
Larry: You have become a champion of what you call “all the freaks.” Is everybody a freak?
Gaga: Since my childhood in school and for a very long time, I used to always feel like a freak. I didn’t have many friends… I got made fun of every day… I related to men more than I related to women. I felt like a freak, and I had nowhere to go… I’ve watched this massive group of misfits join together to liberate themselves… We believe that we aren’t the freaks, that everybody else is the freaks.
Gaga on the video of soldiers in Afghanistan doing “Telephone” to protest Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: I got nervous about posting it on my Twitter, because I got nervous about how it would be received by the other soldiers… It’s quite interesting that this DADT is happening, because in the “Alejandro” video there’s this sort of homoerotic military thing going on.
The “Alejandro” preview: It’s black and white, there’s lots of dancing and sex. There are men in Speedos. The whole vibe is very “Erotica.” Gaga promises the full video will be out within a few days. In the mean time, watch the sneak peak below.
Gaga: My friends since I was very young were all gay. They were always my closest friends, my purest friendships. Gay men never wanted anything from me but my friendship.
Gaga: It’s very confusing for young people, especially for 14-year-olds who are being sent home because they have T-shirts that say “gay” on it, like “gay” is a curse word.
Larry:Your song “Poker Face” is about your own bisexuality. How do you deal with it?
Gaga: [Hesitates… because how the hell is she supposed to answer this question?] I deal with it just fine. I’m looking for love just like everyone else, Larry. But right now, love is in the form of my fans.
Larry: Do you want to have children?
Gaga: Yes, someday, although my womb is not yet beckoning for a child… I’m also terrified it will ruin my creativity.
Larry, in turn, imitates Gaga by donning sunglasses. The transformation is complete.
Gaga: Larry, you are so shady. Shady King.
Gaga on her next album: My next album… it will not be coming out this Christmas… I wanted to give it some because even though it’s finished, I want to give my fans what they deserve, which is for me to travel and promote and give the music to them in the most accessible way possible… I like to do things the old-school way. I want to kiss every DJ and radio director around the world, the way I did the first time… The album was inspired by my newfound understanding and love for my fans… The album, for me, is an anthem for the new decade. It has an overarching message.
Larry: Do you enjoy fame?
Gaga: I enjoy my fans. My fans are something I could never trade or ever dream of giving up. But there are many things that come with fame that I don’t understand… At the end of the day, I don’t want to go to the Hollywood party. I want to go to the pub around the corner and buy everyone a drink.