23

Stereotyping People By Their Favorite Websites

For centuries, we have judged each other by the books we read. And in the past several decades, we’ve also put people in categories based on their favorite bands. But, in the Internet age, when most of us spend more time staring at Firefox than reading or listening to music, what better way to stereotype people than by teasing meaning out of their favorite website? With that in mind, we present yet another light-hearted list (featuring many websites that we, too, love very much) that will nonetheless piss you off if you take it too seriously.

Slate
That guy at the party who’s always going, “Just to play the devil’s advocate for a second…”

Buzzfeed
Viral Internet addicts who are too young to remember a time when “viral” was primarily a medical term

Gawker
Editorial assistants who hate their bosses and want to write for Gawker

Jezebel
Lady editorial assistants who can’t decide whether they miss Women’s Studies classes or think they were total bullshit

Salon
People who pretend they want to read about lefty politics but actually want to read celebrity gossip

Huffington Post
People who pretend they want to read about lefty politics but actually want to gawk at celebrity nip slips

McSweeney’s
Nice hipsters

Vice
Mean hipsters

Brooklyn Vegan
Mean hipsters with a lot of frustrations to vent

nytimes.com
People who are either killing or subsidizing print media. Take your pick.

Pitchfork
People who see themselves as tastemakers but really prefer to have their tastes made for them

Stereogum
Former Pitchfork fans looking for less talk, more rock

Gorilla vs. Bear
Former Pitchfork fans looking for less rock, more chillwave

The New Yorker
Highbrow types who believe long-form journalism really can thrive on the Internet, goddammit

Fark
Your post-frat buddy who is always sending you some link you’ve already seen a million times

College Humor
Your post-frat buddy who is secretly a big geek

Google
Indecisive types, fanboys with “Don’t be evil” tattoos

Facebook
People whose favorite band is The Beatles

MySpace
People whose favorite band is Ke$ha

Twitter
Media types who have yet to discover the magic of TweetDeck

Neatorama
Adorable nerds who know they’re adorable

Boing Boing
Nerds who would be adorable if they weren’t so obsessed with steampunk

Perez Hilton
Tweens

Oh No They Didn’t
Tween Gossip Girl fans who don’t understand copyright law

YouTube
Tweens who have always wanted to call someone a “fag” but don’t have the guts to do it in person

Hulu
TV fans who haven’t figured out torrents and/or think sitting through the commercials is “supporting the show”

Netflix
That dude who’s always going, “Twelve dollars?! For a movie?! I could watch this at home for pennies!” in line in front of you at the movie theater box office

Fleshbot
That dude in your office who’s always looking around to see if anyone can see his computer screen.

Vulture
ADHD sufferers who love pop culture

Foursquare
Schmoozers whose greatest goal is to be the first result when someone Googles their name

The Awl
Jealous bloggers who are sick of writing SEO headlines

eBay
People who would have been cokeheads in the ’80s

Etsy
Girls who wear hats with cat ears, buy you unidentifiable presents

Flavorwire
Alpha ladies; omega dudes

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 7,880 other followers