Stereotyping People By Their Favorite Websites

For centuries, we have judged each other by the books we read. And in the past several decades, we’ve also put people in categories based on their favorite bands. But, in the Internet age, when most of us spend more time staring at Firefox than reading or listening to music, what better way to stereotype people than by teasing meaning out of their favorite website? With that in mind, we present yet another light-hearted list (featuring many websites that we, too, love very much) that will nonetheless piss you off if you take it too seriously.

That guy at the party who’s always going, “Just to play the devil’s advocate for a second…”

Viral Internet addicts who are too young to remember a time when “viral” was primarily a medical term

Editorial assistants who hate their bosses and want to write for Gawker

Lady editorial assistants who can’t decide whether they miss Women’s Studies classes or think they were total bullshit

People who pretend they want to read about lefty politics but actually want to read celebrity gossip

Huffington Post
People who pretend they want to read about lefty politics but actually want to gawk at celebrity nip slips

Nice hipsters

Mean hipsters

Brooklyn Vegan
Mean hipsters with a lot of frustrations to vent
People who are either killing or subsidizing print media. Take your pick.

People who see themselves as tastemakers but really prefer to have their tastes made for them

Former Pitchfork fans looking for less talk, more rock

Gorilla vs. Bear
Former Pitchfork fans looking for less rock, more chillwave

The New Yorker
Highbrow types who believe long-form journalism really can thrive on the Internet, goddammit

Your post-frat buddy who is always sending you some link you’ve already seen a million times

College Humor
Your post-frat buddy who is secretly a big geek

Indecisive types, fanboys with “Don’t be evil” tattoos

People whose favorite band is The Beatles

People whose favorite band is Ke$ha

Media types who have yet to discover the magic of TweetDeck

Adorable nerds who know they’re adorable

Boing Boing
Nerds who would be adorable if they weren’t so obsessed with steampunk

Perez Hilton

Oh No They Didn’t
Tween Gossip Girl fans who don’t understand copyright law

Tweens who have always wanted to call someone a “fag” but don’t have the guts to do it in person

TV fans who haven’t figured out torrents and/or think sitting through the commercials is “supporting the show”

That dude who’s always going, “Twelve dollars?! For a movie?! I could watch this at home for pennies!” in line in front of you at the movie theater box office

That dude in your office who’s always looking around to see if anyone can see his computer screen.

ADHD sufferers who love pop culture

Schmoozers whose greatest goal is to be the first result when someone Googles their name

The Awl
Jealous bloggers who are sick of writing SEO headlines

People who would have been cokeheads in the ’80s

Girls who wear hats with cat ears, buy you unidentifiable presents

Alpha ladies; omega dudes