We thought no one left unscathed after Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Indie Bands: Part 1. Fortunately, we were very, very wrong. Last time, we called out Vampire Weekend fans for their ever-subtle Pete & Pete pickup lines, but this time we’ve taken the invective even farther. (Well, hello, Sleigh Bells fans!) Again, in collaboration with Jeff Luppino-Esposito and in tribute to Internet genius Lauren Leto and her “Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Authors,” we rebel against the misguided notion that stereotyping isn’t an awesome idea.
Interpol
Dudes who are thwarted by the Chinese finger trap every single time.
Black Lips
Guys who don’t get jobs because their potential employer discovered photos of them bro icing on Facebook.
Girl Talk
Bar Mitzvah crashers.
Fucked Up
People who wish they could mosh with Shrek, Snorlax, and Lenny from Of Mice and Men.
Wolf Parade
People who throw a shitfit when someone suggests that there are too many indie bands named after animals.
Hot Chip
Men who used the cheat code to see naked, poorly-rendered 3D figures showering in The Sims.
Surfer Blood
That sweaty dude in the mosh pit who referred to your girlfriend as “Baberaham Lincoln.”
Best Coast
The girl who tries to hook up with that same sweaty dude by bragging about her cat.
Toro Y Moi
Deceptively straight males who think “riding the chillwave” is a national pastime.
The National
Dudes who would rather play chess than Hungry Hungry Hippos: The Drinking Game.
Ninjasonik
Guys who are always worried they accidently impregnated their girlfriends.
Crystal Castles
Bitches who think it’s okay to scratch guys who misbehave. And the boys who buy them soy lattes.
Sleigh Bells
Chicks and dudes who semi-ironically aspire to “Superman dat ho” at an indie rock concert.
MGMT
Pre-Congratulations: 81% of College Freshmen. Post-Congratulations: Guys who consider the ability to store 13 pencils in their hair to be an evolutionary advantage.
Dan Deacon
Smelly, un-self-aware hipsters who wear mal-fitting baseball caps and probably attend SUNY Purchase.
Andrew Bird
Girls who get sexually aroused by traditional avian mating calls.
Of Montreal
Guys who bought kaliedscopes with their Chuck E. Cheese tickets.
Broken Social Scene
People who fantasize about riding an eight-person, single-gear bicycle to the Brooklyn Bowl.
HEALTH
Guys who lit fires in their backyards before hitting puberty. Then they took up smoking.
Cat Power
Mediocre-looking girls who put Zooey Deschanel as their doppelganger on Facebook.
Iron and Wine
Grown men who always get roped into being the DD for “Ladies Night Out” with their mother and her coworkers from Office Depot.
Pavement
Stay-at-home dads.
M. Ward
Lonely, chronic masturbators who end up settling for the Cat Power chicks.
Sonic Youth
Guys who mistake their blender for a radio.
Modest Mouse
People who expressed legitimate concern regarding the state of humanity when J.D. Salinger died.
The Decemberists
Virgins, not in the name of God, but as a result of valiant attempts to achieve poetic justice.
Comments (44)
[...] Stelios Phili Does It Again Posted in book porn by Lauren Leto on June 14, 2010 Stereotyping People by Favorite Indie Band. [...]
to echo the first commenter from the first edition of this series:
“I’m offended and impressed at the same time.”
Part 1 made a bit more sense/was more accurate, but this is still pretty spot on.
funny but surprisingly bitter (pts 1 & 2). author hates people who like music??
LOVE Elliott Smith. HATE Toy Story. ENJOY these lists though… :0)
I enjoy the Fiery Furnaces, and I fucking hate it when people say that to me.
So I guess what I’m saying is, spot on article!
Haha, this made me laugh. true in a way. detailed observation right there.
kudos to you.
I love this shit.
I’m not cool enough to get this I guess.
Easily the greatest thing about my day so far. That being said, it’s kind of a shitty day.
The Beirut one could have been better
Not offended, just found it unfunny and lazy <3
[...] Those kids at Flavorwire have done it again. Last time I was a Wavves. This time I don’t know…Health maybe??? Find out who you are here! [...]
[...] popular community blog Flavorwire has published their latest installment of “Stereotyping People By Their Favorite Indie [...]
the Beirut one could have been better, the Beirut one could have been better
what a needledick
these are awesome
[...] Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Indie Bands Part1, Part 2 [...]
This list is entry-level as fuck.
Where’s the Olivia Tremor Control? Or Mercury Rev? Or Super Furry Animals?
This isn’t an “indie” list. This is overhyped Pitchfork shit that teenage girls listen to. You might as well include Muse and Coldplay.
hi, im homosexual, and this shit is toooo gay for me to listen to. im going to go get my hair done now……
Wish I had a creepy uncle so I could appreciate being an LCD Soundsystem fan better. Will settle for being attracted to sweaty post-gig James Murphy.
” Where’s the Olivia Tremor Control? Or Mercury Rev? Or Super Furry Animals?
This isn’t an “indie” list. This is overhyped Pitchfork shit that teenage girls listen to. You might as well include Muse and Coldplay.
”
Two things: I feel sorry for anyone who seriously considers the reviews that pitchfork puts out, since you can’t really find music by reading words — your ears are your best friend there.
Also, if the list were truly indie, maybe ten people in the whole world would get it, so the sacrifice is using an older definition of indie for the sake of being humorous. A lot of these are spot on, but yes, not “indie,” in it’s truest sense.
This is hilarious. My favorite band is the decemberists, and i feel as though you nailed it right on. . .
Holy Jesus this is accurate.
Favorie indie bands-
Yeah Yeah Yeahs- owned a pair a checkered vans sk8-hi’s in seventh- eighth grade
She and Him- does disliking the name “Death Cab For Cutie” count?
Feist- That Autumn girl at the end of 500 days was nowhere near as pretty as Zooey Deschanel/ Summer. Yeah, I have a girl crush on her. She is probably the most girl-crushed-upon person ever.
I also like Belle and Sebastian, but usually refrain from weird twitter things. I still don’t get that using a number sign thing. to be honest, I only go on once a monthish.
And of course this list is the biggies. Stereotypes are designed to cover the most major things.
I guess I have to start listening to Dinosaur Jr…
“The Holy Mountain” is SO fucked.
“Magnetic Fields
People who “discover” new bands via NPR.”
Ahahahaha…I saw this interview with a Twilight douche who listed them as his favorite band. Definite wannabe hipster.
[...] ainda pra ver a parte 2 dessa lista [...]
First list made my laugh. Second was a desperate attempt at being funny, but ultimately failed. Somethings are better left short and sweet.
hahah some of those are pretty great. Two I’d change though are:
My Morning Jacket
People who will willingly listen to music that sucks even while their ears are bleeding
Radiohead
Everyone who fancies themselves needing to feel cooler than they really are
does no one else see how most of the female stereotypes are incredibly sexist? most of them are about a girl being not pretty enough. so lame. why do guys get to escape that shit?
gotta add dear and the headlights, margot and the nuclear so and sos, manchester orchestra, and cocorosie haaaaaa
Okay, the ending of 500 days of summer was awful. They set up for Summer to be a strong female character that wasn’t defined by a male, and then they messed it up. The Autumn thing was just dumb….
Everyone thinks their indie is superior to all others. Please do NOT compare talented Cat Power to robot zooey deschanel. She is the Katy Perry to the indie nation, untalented and riding the slutwave for $$$.
Still no bright eyes.
[...] more stereotypes, check out Stereotyping People by their Favorite Indie Bands Part 2! 271 comments var addthis_config = { username: "flavorwire" } Email to a friend [...]
no bright eyes!
also my friend wants drive by truckers or the replacements.
no bright eyes!
also my friend wants drive by truckers or the replacements. Whats the deal gurl!?
rilo kileyyyyyyyyyy
I think that Metric fans are hipsters who know way too much about their major but get disoriented when you try to take them anywhere other than the coffee shop they sit in all day.
Oh no, what if I like both Owen Pallett and Beirut? Can I call them tits instead then?
The Magnetic Fields are addictive, I never realised how hipster they are though. I still love them! :D
vampire weekend
these comments are hilarious.
what about the chicks who listen to the Black Lips???
As a big M. Ward fan I have only one thing to say: nailed it.
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