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5 Reasons Marriage Isn’t All That Awesome

While some at Flavorwire guiltily enjoy his glitterati-stuffed gut and poorly Photoshopped penises, I’m pretty over Perez. Still, it’s impossible not to feel some sense of satisfaction when Mr. Hilton annoys an even bigger idiot.

Never mind the fact that the real marriage crisis is the inconceivably high divorce rate of heteros (why aren’t “concerned citizens” spending 1.5 million on ads about that?!), the National Organization for Marriage is hell-bent on spreading homophobia. And when their hilariously bigoted commercials were recently pulled thorough the YouTube wringer, they demanded the parodies be taken down. So, when the group created a new set of ads focusing on the of Hilton’s recent bout with Miss California, he had them yanked using the same copyright claim (nice!).

We honor of his ingenuity after the jump with 5 unfortunate facts about heterosexual non-opposite marriage straight from government census info and the stats division of the CDC.

1. The number of unmarried couples living together increased 72% between 1990 and 2000. (U.S. Census Bureau)

2. 41% of unmarried partner households have children under 18 living in them. (U.S. Census Bureau)

3. 43% percent of first marriages end in separation or divorce within 15 years. (National Center for Health Statistics)

4. Women in the youngest age category are twice as likely to experience marital disruption within 10 years as women in the oldest age category. (National Center for Health Statistics)

5. Current US law allowed these two to be joined in holy matrimony:

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