Just How Feminist Is Your Favorite Pop Star?

As you may have heard by now, Lana Del Rey is “just not really that interested” in feminism. Girl, I feel you. I’d much rather talk about binge-watching strategies for Orange Is the New Black, or which emoji is my spirit animal, or how my new Insta selfie has broken the 30-like mark. But I guess some people care what pop stars think about feminism, because they’re role models or whatever to millions of impressionable young women. Don’t these #teens know how busy pop stars are yelling at their stylists for not thinking to put them in that Swarovski nightie, not Rihanna?

“For me, the issue of feminism is just not an interesting concept,” Lana told the FADER between chain-smoking Parliaments. “I’m more interested in, you know, SpaceX and Tesla, what’s going to happen with our intergalactic possibilities. Whenever people bring up feminism, I’m like, god.”

Feminism, amirite? EXHAUSTING.

“My idea of a true feminist is a woman who feels free enough to do whatever she wants,” Lana added. And that’s not Lana because we keep asking her these dumb fucking questions about feminism. Listen, she needs to hitchhike across America in Daisy Dukes and a flower crown, getting that rando truck-driver dick all across this fair land. What she doesn’t want to do is answer to journalists, who apparently make up shit about her (“My career is a reflection of journalism, current-day journalism. My public persona and career has nothing to do with my internal process or my personal life”). Poor bb!

She’s not alone, though. At some point in every pop star’s career, she’s forced to either embrace or denounce the dreaded F-word. Ranked from Lana to Beyoncé, here’s how feminist your favorite pop stars are.

LANA DEL REY: Ugh, feminism. *checks horoscope*

RIHANNA: Too busy smoking joints the size of my face, bullying fans on Twitter, and generally giving no fucks whatsoever to answer this question. But yeah, don’t expect to be her a role model for young girls; she’ll get back together with Chris Brown at the drop of a subpar remix.

LADY GAGA: “I’m not a feminist. I hail men, I love men, I celebrate American male culture – beer, bars, and muscle cars.” Someone get this woman a copy of The Second Sex.

TAYLOR SWIFT: “I don’t really think about things as guys versus girls. I never have. I was raised by parents who brought me up to think if you work as hard as guys, you can go far in life.” Guess the women who’ve been fighting to close the wage gap for the last 40 years just haven’t been working as hard as guys!

KATY PERRY: “A feminist? Uh, yeah, actually. I used to not really understand what that word meant [see here], and now that I do, it just means that I love myself as a female and I also love men.” Someone get this woman a dictionary.

MILEY CYRUS: “I feel like I’m one of the biggest feminists in the world because I tell women to not be scared of anything.”

Later, this: “I still don’t think we’re there 100 percent. I mean, guy rappers grab their crotch all fucking day and have hos around them, but no one talks about it. But if I grab my crotch and I have hot model bitches around me, I’m degrading women? I’m a woman — I should be able to have girls around me! But I’m part of the evolution of that. I hope.” Someone get this woman in a room with Angela Davis.

MADONNA: I’m gonna let Camille Paglia take this one.

BEYONCÉ: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie superfan; Sheryl Sandberg associate“anti-feminist terrorist” (according to bell hooks), “feminist, I guess.:-/