The 60th annual Grammy Awards were handed at last night at Madison Square Garden, and it turns out, they really like Bruno Mars. He took home the trophies for Album of the year (24K Magic), record of the year (the title track), and song of the year (“That’s What I Like”), and hey, one could say giving 24K Magic a trophy in a category that includes DAMN. and “Awaken, My Live!” is kind of like, oh, I dunno, giving one to Adele’s already forgotten 25 when it was up against Lemonade, or to Taylor Swift’s 1989 when it was up against To Pimp A Butterfly, but who are we to judge. Awards are stupid!
Kendrick did nab the trophies for Best Rap Album (duh) and Best Rap Performance (for “LOYALTY.”) Oh, and Leonard Cohen won a posthumous Best Rock Performance award for “You Want It Darker,” so that was nice! Anyway, here are all the winners, if anyone still cares:
Album of the Year “Awaken, My Love!” — Childish Gambino 4:44 — Jay-Z DAMN. — Kendrick Lamar Melodrama — Lorde 24K Magic — Bruno Mars — WINNER
Record of the Year “Redbone” — Childish Gambino “Despacito” — Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber “The Story Of O.J.” — Jay-Z “HUMBLE.” — Kendrick Lamar “24K Magic” — Bruno Mars — WINNER
Song of the Year “Despacito” — Ramón Ayala, Justin Bieber, Jason “Poo Bear” Boyd, Erika Ender, Luis Fonsi & Marty James Garton, songwriters (Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee Featuring Justin Bieber) “4:44” — Shawn Carter & Dion Wilson, songwriters (Jay-Z) “Issues” — Benny Blanco, Mikkel Storleer Eriksen, Tor Erik Hermansen, Julia Michaels & Justin Drew Tranter, songwriters (Julia Michaels) “1-800-273-8255” — Alessia Caracciolo, Sir Robert Bryson Hall II, Arjun Ivatury & Khalid Robinson, songwriters (Logic Featuring Alessia Cara & Khalid) “That’s What I Like” — Christopher Brody Brown, James Fauntleroy, Philip Lawrence, Bruno Mars, Ray Charles McCullough II, Jeremy Reeves, Ray Romulus & Jonathan Yip, songwriters (Bruno Mars) — WINNER
Best New Artist Alessia Cara — WINNER Khalid Lil Uzi Vert Julia Michaels SZA
Best Pop Vocal Album Kaleidoscope EP — Coldplay Lust for Life — Lana Del Rey Evolve — Imagine Dragons Rainbow — Kesha Joanne — Lady Gaga ÷ (Divide) — Ed Sheeran — WINNER
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album Nobody But Me (Deluxe Version) — Michael Bublé Triplicate — Bob Dylan In Full Swing — Seth MacFarlane Wonderland — Sarah McLachlan Tony Bennett Celebrates 90 — (Various Artists) Dae Bennett, Producer — WINNER
Best Rap Album 4:44 — Jay-Z DAMN. — Kendrick Lamar — WINNER Culture — Migos Laila’s Wisdom — Rapsody Flower Boy — Tyler, The Creator
Best Alternative Music Album Everything Now — Arcade Fire Humanz — Gorillaz American Dream — LCD Soundsystem Pure Comedy — Father John Misty Sleep Well Beast — The National — WINNER
Best Rock Album Emperor Of Sand — Mastodon Hardwired…To Self-Destruct — Metallica The Stories We Tell Ourselves — Nothing More Villains — Queens Of the Stone Age A Deeper Understanding — The War On Drugs — WINNER
Best Rock Song “Atlas, Rise!” — James Hetfield & Lars Ulrich, songwriters (Metallica) “Blood In The Cut” — JT Daly & Kristine Flaherty, songwriters (K.Flay) “Go To War” — Ben Anderson, Jonny Hawkins, Will Hoffman, Daniel Oliver, David Pramik & Mark Vollelunga, songwriters (Nothing More) “Run” — Foo Fighters, songwriters (Foo Fighters) — WINNER “The Stage” — Zachary Baker, Brian Haner, Matthew Sanders, Jonathan Seward & Brooks Wackerman, songwriters (Avenged Sevenfold)
Best Pop Solo Performance “Love So Soft” — Kelly Clarkson “Praying” — Kesha “Million Reasons” — Lady Gaga “What About Us” — P!nk “Shape Of You” — Ed Sheeran — WINNER
Best Rap/Sung Performance “PRBLMS” — 6LACK “Crew” — Goldlink Featuring Brent Faiyaz & Shy Glizzy “Family Feud” — Jay-Z Featuring Beyoncé “LOYALTY.” — Kendrick Lamar Featuring Rihanna — WINNER “Love Galore” — SZA Featuring Travis Scott
Best R&B Performance “Get You” — Daniel Caesar Featuring Kali Uchis “Distraction” — Kehlani “High” — Ledisi “That’s What I Like” — Bruno Mars — WINNER “The Weekend” — SZA
Best Pop Duo/Group Performance “Something Just Like This” — The Chainsmokers & Coldplay “Despacito” — Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee Featuring Justin Bieber “Thunder” — Imagine Dragons “Feel It Still” — Portugal. The Man — WINNER “Stay” — Zedd & Alessia Cara
Best Rock Performance “You Want It Darker” — Leonard Cohen — WINNER “The Promise” — Chris Cornell “Run” — Foo Fighters “No Good” — Kaleo “Go To War” — Nothing More
Best Metal Performance “Invisible Enemy” — August Burns Red “Black Hoodie” — Body Count “Forever” — Code Orange “Sultan’s Curse” — Mastodon — WINNER “Clockworks” — Meshuggah
Best Dance Recording “Bambro Koyo Ganda” — Bonobo Featuring Innov Gnawa “Cola” — Camelphat & Elderbrook “Andromeda” — Gorillaz Featuring DRAM “Tonite” — LCD Soundsystem — WINNER “Line Of Sight” — Odesza Featuring WYNNE & Mansionair
Best Dance/Electronic Album Migration — Bonobo 3-D The Catalogue — Kraftwerk — WINNER Mura Masa — Mura Masa A Moment Apart — Odesza What Now — Sylvan Esso
Best Contemporary Instrumental Album What If — The Jerry Douglas Band Spirit — Alex Han Mount Royal — Julian Lage & Chris Eldridge Prototype — Jeff Lorber Fusion — WINNER Bad Hombre — Antonio Sanchez