As we may have mentioned last September, when Snooki’s book deal with Simon and Schuster was first announced, we believe that there are plenty of orange creatures out there that are more qualified to write a novel. Then in January, we treated you to some choice excerpts from her literary debut, A Shore Thing. Today, thanks to GalleyCat, we’ve learned that the Jersey Shore star is busy at work on a follow-up novel called Gorilla Beach, which will be published next May. Click through if you’re feeling strong enough to stomach the synopsis.
“It’s a summer to remember . . . at the Jersey Shore.
“Giovanna ‘Gia’ Spumanti and her cousin Isabella ‘Bella’ Rizzoli are going to have the sexiest summer ever. While they couldn’t be more different — pint-size Gia is a carefree, outspoken party girl and Bella is a tall, slender athlete who always holds her tongue — for the next month they’re ready to pouf up their hair, put on their stilettos, and soak up all that Seaside Heights, New Jersey, has to offer: hot guidos, cool clubs, fried Oreos, and lots of tequila.
“So far, Gia’s summer is on fire. Between nearly burning down their rented bungalow, inventing the popular ‘tan-tags’ at the Tantastic Salon where she works, and rescuing a shark on the beach, she becomes a local celebrity overnight. Luckily, she meets the perfect guy to help her keep the flames under control. Firefighter Frank Rossi is exactly her type: big, tan, and Italian. But is he tough enough to handle Gia when things really heat up?
“Bella is more than ready for some fun in the sun. Finally free of her bonehead ex-boyfriend, she left home in Brooklyn with one goal in mind: hooking up with a sexy gorilla for a no-strings-attached summer fling. In no time, she lands a job leading ‘Beat Up the Beat’ dance classes at a local gym, and is scooped up by Beemer-driving, preppy Bender Newberry. Only problem: Bella can’t get her romantic and ripped boss Tony ‘Trouble’ Troublino out of her head. He’s relationship material. Suddenly, Bella’s not sure what she wants.
“The cousins soon realize that for every friend they make on the boardwalk, there are also rivals, slummers, and frenemies who will do anything to ruin their summer — and try their relationship. Before July ends, the bonds of family and friendship will be stretched to the breaking point. Will the haters prevail, or will Gia and Bella find love at the Shore?”
Considering how poorly her first book did, we’re surprised that Simon and Schuster would green-light this sequel. Is it just us or do you think that Snooki should stick to what she clearly knows best — dancing with potted plants?